


Harvesters of Sorrow

by bipabrena



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 09:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipabrena/pseuds/bipabrena
Summary: Bertholdt Hoover and Reiner Braun, two teenage warriors that were sent on a mission, as children, to attack humanity. Two warriors that were forced to grow up too much, too soon. On a starry, cold night with rawness in the air that suggests an upcoming winter, Bertholdt ponders about their actions and the convictions they've been taught since infancy, and finds himself in angst and confusion, no longer knowing what's right or wrong. He finds comfort in Reiner, the boy who loves him unconditionally and would follow him to the ends of the Earth.In the end, it doesn't matter what they choose to do from here. It doesn't matter if they're the cause of so much death and sorrow. It doesn't matter how conflicted they are and what decisions will derive from their angst, because as long as they're together, they'll find their will to live. Because they love each other.





	Harvesters of Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This is a scenario I came up with while playing Overwatch, and thought it would be sweet to write. I love these two waaaay too much, I just love writing about them. 
> 
> Also, I'm bad at writing smut. Sorry, I'm still learning!
> 
> If you enjoyed this one-shot, please make sure to leave kudos or a comment (whether it's praise or criticism). Any sort of support and feedback helps, as I'm very eager to improve! Thank you ❤

Reiner woke up suddenly but slowly, waiting for his eyes to take in every ray of sunlight. It didn’t happen. He slowly sat up, yawning; rubbing his tired eyes with the inside of his palms. He realised it wasn’t morning yet, meaning he still had a couple of hours left of shut-eye. He felt relieved.

He looked down at the lower bunk to check up on Bertholdt, as he usually did when he awoke in the middle of the night. He wasn’t there. He waited for a minute or two to pass in order to wake up properly. Now fully awake, he jumped off the bunk to head to the bathroom. He needed to empty his bladder, and perhaps Bertholdt was there, so he’d kill two birds with one stone. He quietly opened the door and went out.

Reiner shivered and placed his hands under his armpits for warmth. He looked at the sky as he walked. It was beautiful and starry—he usually didn’t have the time to relax and admire it. There was so much accumulated stress within him, he rarely had the opportunity to loosen up and admire the little things in life. The only way and time he’d ever feel fully relaxed is when being alone with Bertholdt. Even while sleeping, Reiner's body remains tense. On guard. But when Bertholdt is beside him, he feels at ease. His body and mind fully relax; that’s the effect his friend has on him.

He reached his destination and emptied his bladder, feeling alleviated. There was no sign of Bertholdt, however. There’s no way he was back at the barracks, as they would have crossed paths if he were.

So, Bertholdt wasn’t in the bathroom. Where could he be? They weren’t allowed to go anywhere at night.

That’s when Reiner remembered. Their spot. He was definitely there.

Reiner sneaked into the forest in front of their one-on-one combat training camp. Bertholdt and him loved that forest. It was beautiful—a canopy green forest that reeked of age and history. Branches snapped as he walked, and he breathed in the cold air rich with the fragrance of leaves and mud. He followed the dirt road for over three minutes, until he finally reached the steep rock at the end of it. Ahead laid a beautiful lake which the starry sky made gleam, surrounded by more canopy-green trees. But the most beautiful sight for Reiner was the boy sitting at the edge of the steep rock. He was leaning, both legs crossed and he rested his elbows on his knees. He was looking at the sky.

Though he looked peaceful, this wasn't the case. There was turmoil and sadness brewing inside Bertholdt. He was fighting the views he was indoctrinated versus the views he had gained from his experiences inside the walls he was meant to destroy. He was conflicted, confused and nervous. He didn’t know what to believe.

Reiner called his name softly, as to not frighten him.

“Bertholdt?”

His friend jolted, and turned to look at the owner of the voice. He eased when he saw it was Reiner.

“Hi, Reiner” he smiled, though it was evident it was forced, as his expression was plastered with sorrow.

Reiner walked towards him “What are you doing out here?” and sat next to him.

Bertholdt made eye contact with his friend for a couple of seconds, then looked back up at the sky. He could try hiding his thoughts from Reiner and engage in an annoying exchange of him insisting on asking what’s wrong and Bertholdt refusing, so he chose to tell him the truth.

“Reiner,” he called softly. He had his friend’s full attention. “Why are we here?” he asked sincerely, his gaze back on him.

Seconds passed.

“We’re here for Marley, Bertl.” Reiner responded softly. “For our families.”

“But what are we doing?”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Bertl."

Liar.

Bertholdt looked down at the lake, eyes sad and eyebrows furrowed.

“I can’t hate them.” Bertholdt pursed his lips. “I can’t hate them.” His voice broke.

Reiner felt concern, and leaned towards his friend’s face. “Bertl, what are you talking about?” His question was pointless. He well knew what he meant.

“A girl who ate a potato in front of the instructor. A boy who wants to avenge his mother. A boy who wants to see the ocean. A boy that wants to honourably serve the king. Two teenagers that are in love.” Bertholdt looked at Reiner. “These are the demons we’re supposed to kill.”

Reiner didn’t know what to say. He wanted to find the right words and comfort him, but truth is he couldn’t. He didn’t understand why they were inside the walls either. They were supposed to break them and slaughter the “ _demons_ ” that inhabited them, but these demons were regular people that behaved as normally as those in Marley did. They were regular people that were fighting to survive.

“I” Reiner tried to come up with any sort of comforting words, but what he chose to say

“I don’t know either.”

was the truth.

“I’m scared, Reiner. I want to go home, but I know I can’t unless I finish our mission. I don’t want to get eaten so someone else can inherit my Titan, but I also don’t want to kill our friends.”

Reiner’s eyebrows rose. “ _Our friends._ ” Bertholdt was always the one to insist they shouldn’t get close to any of the cadets—they couldn’t afford to develop friendships with them. It would only fog their minds and deviate them from their mission, but it’s clear that it was too late for that.

“I don’t want to do this either.” Reiner muttered. “I think about it every day. The day we’ll have to kill everyone here. I always ask myself the same fucking thing: why us? Why did it have to be us? Fuck.”

“Because we chose to.” Bertholdt reminded him. “We chose to apply to become warriors for Marley.”

Reiner frowned. “It doesn’t matter. We were kids. Kids shouldn’t be made into warriors when they don’t even understand what being a warrior entails.”

Bertholdt nodded in agreement. “They use us for their dirty work.” He sighed. “But if it wasn’t us, it’d have to be someone else. I don’t want anyone else to stain their hands with blood. I don’t want anyone else to bear the guilt of these sins.”

“Well, I do.” Reiner stared at the lake. “I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to remember how Marcel died in front of us to save me. I don’t want to remember breaking Wall Maria and seeing the horrified people in the ship. If it were up to me, I would place this burden on someone else. I just wanted to be the best son in the world.” His eyes stung. “I didn’t know that meant killing kids like us.” His voice broke, indicating he was on the verge of tears. “I didn’t fucking know it meant killing parents that were loved by their kids as much as I love mine.“ He thought of Eren. “I just wanted to be the best son in the world.”

The sight of Reiner’s pain contracted Bertholdt’s heart, making his lips quiver.

There was so much going on in Bertholdt’s mind as Reiner spoke. He didn’t want to abandon his family, but he didn’t want to kill any more people. There was nothing he could do. Regardless of whatever choices he made, he’d have to betray someone. He’d have to either betray his hometown and the people he swore to fight for, or the people he had grown close to, that challenged the convictions he was instilled. No matter what he did, he’d have to become a traitor.

“Reiner” he called. “I don’t want us to kill anyone else. But if we don’t, we’ll fail our mission, and we’ll fail Marley.” He lost it and began whimpering. “I don’t know what to do.”

Reiner hugged Bertholdt as soon as he saw the tears roll down his beautiful face, and began whimpering with him as well. He was as conflicted as his friend was.

Bertholdt clutched Reiner’s shirt, holding him as tightly as he could.

Reiner managed to calm down, and he pulled back to cup Bertholdt’s wet cheeks.

He sniffed. “No matter what,” his tone was both strong and reassuring “we’ll be in this together.” He smiled. “I’ll always be with you, Bertl.”

Bertholdt held the back of Reiner’s head and rested his forehead against his. Their noses touched. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Thank you,” he barely said in more than a whisper.

Reiner ran his thumb across Bertholdt’s cheeks. “For what?”

It was evident his friend was thanking him for his loyalty and support, but Reiner still felt like asking.

“For being you.” His breath was shaking.

Reiner leaned in, taking a moment to feel Bertholdt’s breath against his. Bertholdt’s lips parted, welcoming the gesture he knew was coming. His heartbeat accelerated dramatically, as a result of the nervousness Reiner awoke in him.

Reiner placed a soft kiss on his lips, Bertholdt gently grabbing a fistful of Reiner’s hair. They pulled away, taking shaky, shallow breaths. They kissed again, their pace increasing, now unable to contain themselves. Bertholdt’s hands worked their way around Reiner’s body, feeling each inch of his perfect physique. He pushed him onto the ground, both boys now feeling growth in their pants, and they stopped for a moment to take in each other’s sight. Bertholdt’s eyes full of passion and desire, Reiner’s with wonder and love.

Bertholdt aligned his body with Reiner’s, cupping his chin to intensify their kiss—slowly grinding his groin against the now fully hard boy’s. Reiner squeezed Bertholdt’s buttocks, eliciting a laugh from the latter, now grinning into the kiss. The friction between their members prompted a moan from both of them.

Reiner pulled away to gaze at his friend, his companion; the boy he deeply loved. He was too perfect. His eyes and smile were soft, his bone structure was both fragile and masculine, and every inch of his body overwhelmed him with love.

His admiration was interrupted when feeling hot breath on his neck, then the tender brush of lips. A hand ran through his hair as the kisses became more urgent, and another hand slid underneath his pants, stroking his throbbing cock. Now overcome with desire, he lowered Bertholdt’s pajama pants to return the favour. Bertholdt outstretched his right arm, his left hand working on Reiner’s cock. He worked with precision, scaling down his shaft with a gentle, twisting motion.

“Fuck.” He bit Bertholdt’s lip, nearly drawing blood.

Bertholdt increased the pace, Reiner mimicking the deed. Normally, they’d take their time pleasuring each other, but right now—right now they wanted to forget. They just wanted to lose themselves in a short but gentle act of love.

They continued, until both boys came on each other, pressing their foreheads against the other, hearts still racing and now sweating.

They exchanged a final kiss.

Bertholdt pulled away, cupping Reiner’s cheek, his eyes slowly opening. “Reiner.” he whispered. “I love you, Reiner.”

“I love you, Bertl.” He smiled, still flustered.

Bertholdt laughed, gazing at the mess that now laid on their stomachs. “Well, this went from 0 to 100 real fast.”

Reiner playfully bumped his forehead against Bertholdt’s. “Let me get up.”

Bertholdt crawled away from him, pulling his pants up. Reiner sat up, running fingers through his hair. He exhaled heartily.

His friend extended his arm to help him up. He accepted the polite gesture.

“We should head back.” Bertholdt mentioned. “It’d be pretty awkward if, somehow, someone found us out here.”

He turned back, but before he could walk away, Reiner grabbed his hand and pulled him towards him.

“Hey.” He muttered. “I love you.”

Bertholdt smiled.

They had caused so much pain. They were responsible for so many deaths, for so much grief and so many tears. But they were just kids—they were dragged into a mess they were too young to comprehend, forcing them to mature too early. Now, they couldn’t go back. They were harvesters of sorrow, and it devastated them, but they had no choice than to continue and find solace in the other. They found comfort in the fact that, no matter what, they would follow each other to the ends of the Earth.

Because they loved each other.


End file.
